About
me
I started practicing tarot after I had lost everything. After going through several back-to-back traumatic events, I was then dumped, fired, and harassed out of my home. During the process of starting my life over, I began to learn about spirituality and discovered my favorite tool: Tarot. The suit of swords represents the element of air in astrology (I am a Libra sun/Gemini moon/Aquarius rising) and is the most challenging suit in tarot. Most of the cards represent heartbreak, grief, depression, anxiety, betrayal, feeling imprisoned, painful endings, and more. All of which I was experiencing in high levels. Working with tarot I was able to address all of these.
Although I am passionate about psychology (indicated by my natal Mercury in the 8th house) and was actively in therapy working through my PTSD, there are some questions that couldn’t be answered through normal means. Tarot helped me gain the closure I desperately needed, and provided me with many of the pieces necessary for me to heal. Through tarot, I was able to overcome my depression and I found a new direction for my life.
I went back to school to become an EMT. I spent a year serving a community near Seattle. Aside from hospitals, my work regularly brought me inside of mental hospitals, crack houses, and county jails. I have cared for people from nearly every walk of life. Although my career in EMS was short lived, it was incredibly empowering. Helping my patients through what may have been the most difficult time of their lives brought me purpose. My career ended due to physical injury, but I hope to continue doing healing work for others through divination.
My love for astrology came after the end of my EMS career. I was diagnosed with ADHD at age 11 but I began the process of understanding my ADHD well into my adulthood. I discovered that having ADHD meant that I lacked a self identity – which is as disorienting as it sounds. Being asked to introduce myself was a nightmare. I didn’t know what my hobbies were. I couldn’t name a favorite movie. It was impossible for me to describe my personality because I had no concept of self.
Through astrology I discovered me. Astrology explained everything about me including my core values, my likes and dislikes, my dating choices, my sexuality, my friendships. Astrology even showed me my childhood, my trauma, and the issues I have struggled through. Astrology made me feel incredibly validated, and healed my self esteem in ways I didn’t know it needed healing.
Aside from learning about myself, astrology also helped me understand the people around me better. I was able to work more harmoniously with others, and resolve conflicts easier. I came to understand why certain relationships worked and others didn’t. And knowing myself better, I was able to forge strong connections with people that aligned with my values.
I discovered shamanism while listening to tarot readings on YouTube. Although YouTube tarot readings are general, one reading really resonated with me. She spoke about a person who had experienced a lot of trauma, and recommended a shamanic soul retrieval. After looking into soul retrieval, I immediately knew it was something that I needed and I contacted a shamanic practitioner. This ceremony changed my life. Sexual trauma left me feeling as though a part of me was stolen, and through this soul retrieval ceremony, I felt whole for the first time in years. Since this experience, I have brought shamanism into my personal practice, learning how to journey by myself and with others.
I also discovered that shamanism was an integral part of my maternal family’s history. It turns out that I had been honoring my ancestors after all, through queer relationships, body modifications, and feminism. Although colonization had wiped out many spiritual practices in the Philippines, my family has kept the tradition of healing and divination alive through numerology, reiki, astrology, palmistry, and more.